My girlfriend, Lindsey, recently took a job in Round Rock and, rather than fight the traffic every morning, she's found herself an apartment near her work.
Seeing as I am the one with loads of free time on my hands and no real responsibilities, I've taken it upon myself to be the one to make the 17 mile trek to her apartment whenever I want to see her.
This means that I spend a good 30-40 minutes per day in the car. Seeing as it's April, I'm usually in a position to listen to the Astros valiantly flail about in the AL West while I'm driving. Unfortunately, today, the Astros had already lost by the time I was driving home and my iPhone was dead - rendering Spotify unavailable.
This meant that I was beholden to the caprices of terrestrial radio. I absentmindedly flipped through the stations until I found something acceptable - your standard top-40 stuff. After enjoying a little Adele, this song came on.
This is pure, unrepentant garbage.
In the first four seconds, the listener gains all she ever will from the song. There's a drumbeat, a few chords on the piano and the line:
I feel so close to you right now
Being close to someone is a reasonable subject for a song, but it takes a turn toward turdliness immediately after that sentiment.
It's a forcefield
What is a force field? Closeness? Love?
Love is a great many things, and I suppose that it could be seen as a forcefield. Love often protects us from the worst parts of the world and the worst parts of ourselves, but here, divorced from any context, this line is meaningless.
Calvin Harris, the songwriter, continues.=:
I wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal
Well we've solved the mystery of the forcefield. Apparently its chief utility is that it somewhat rhymes with the word "deal." Harris' heart is on his sleeve. He's not afraid to let the world know that he is surrounded by a forcefield of closeness. He will not hide his inanity from the hostile masses.
Your love pours down on me, surrounds me like a waterfall
This line isn't terrible, but it's not particularly meaningful either.
And there's no stopping us right now
Harris and his lover cannot be stopped.
I feel so close to you right now
The coda! Harris also gets to rhyme "now" with "now" thus making his job easier.
These same six lines are then repeated ad nauseum for the next four minutes, over the same simple hook.
Clearly, this song is devoid of any meaning or artistry. It's only value appears to be that it's simple and catchy.
There is no truth in this art.
It's just some simple rhymes that are tangentially related to some vague notion of love and commitment. No one learns anything from this song, no one can relate to this song - its meaninglessness makes it inherently unrelatable.
The question, then, is why is this song being played on the radio? No human being can actually enjoy it. It's not going to inspire anyone either personally or creatively. Two years from now, this song will be a relic remember by no one.
This isn't an indictment of pop music by any stretch. I enjoy a lot "disposable" art. I listen to Katy Perry's Peacock at least twice a month. But Katy Perry's music is fun. When you listen to Katy Perry, you're immediately excused from being a normal human being. Consuming her music is a conscious decision to give yourself over to a form of cartoonish hedonism for three minutes and fifteen seconds. You're granted a reprieve from being yourself and instead become the type of person who enjoys a song about passing out on a Friday night or being abducted by Kanye West.
By contrast, Harris' song does nothing. There is no catharsis in "I Feel so Close to You Right Now." It's music that is meant to be ignored.
This cannot stand. There is enough good pop music being produced right now, that there's no reason that Calvin Harris should ever destroy the integrity of the airwaves with his schlocky bullshit.
I implore all of you to write to Music and let them know that you're fed up. Only when we raise our voices as one will we be able to achieve justice.
Here's a palate cleanser to help choke down that spoonful of aural trash.
No comments:
Post a Comment