It's South by Southwest time here in Austin, which is a conflicting time for me. I'm very keen on the idea of SXSW - lots of free music, food and drinks, but the execution always leaves me a little sour.
Like most Austinites, I'm both deeply proud and wildly protective of this city. I simultaneously want it to be known as the crown jewel of the American Southwest while also being an intimate place, a home.
This manifests itself in a weird sort of cognitive dissonance where I want people to recognize my taste and good fortune for living here, but not actually spend any time here themselves. This is the latent insecurity that dwells within all Austinites. Everyone rails against immigrants because, secretly, they fear being exposed for frauds themselves. There's something existentially troubling about looking down your nose at people who have the misfortune to be impressed by something as woefully mundane as Hey Cupcake when mere months, years, decades before, you were that person - caught up in the Austin image.
This sense of dissonance is felt most during SXSW.
South by is very much about status. You have the badgeholders, then the wristband folks, and then the plebeians. But beyond the attendees, there's a hidden layer of social machinations between the artists, promoters, crew, media, and socialites.
At South by, Austin values are flipped on their head. The most important people are the badgeholders. They have priority access to events, shows, and free food. The badgeholders, for the most part, are not from Austin. This means that all of the locals are forced to wait in line as they watch nitwits from New York, LA, Chicago, and the Bay Area get priority access to things that they want to do.
To make it worse, these people kind of suck. They either talk about Austin like it's mecca (which comes across as patronizing) or they constantly remind you that they are from some major metro (which is even more patronizing). It feels like they are wearing Austin blackface (which, if we're being honest, would be the whitest possible face one could possibly find).
The interactive folks are probably the most egregious offenders. I hate interactive week. I hate walking around downtown being surrounded by people actually using QR codes and caring about their Klout score. People are exchanging business cards at every street corner. It feels (to borrow a term from grade school) phony baloney.
These things are so annoying, of course, because they tap into that same cognitive dissonance that I mentioned earlier. Austin, however numerous its charms may be, is not a "world class city" and, for the most part, it's not a hub of industry or media or tech.
It's a place where people compare the old money/new money status of Tarrytown and Westlake (s/o to Eric Webb for that anecdote). It's a place where a local weatherman gets cheered every weekend in the fall by 100,000 people simply for doing a bit on the jumbotron of the football stadium. Hell, it's a place that's still deeply invested in football at all.
So, it is within this conflicted mindset that I worked my first event of this year's South by on Monday.
I got a call over the weekend about working an event for 101X, one of the radio stations that I interned for last spring. I would be live tweeting/filming the Passion Pit show at Hype Machine's Hype Hotel.
I didn't get a ton of details, but I was happy because a) I like working and b) I like Hype Machine and Passion Pit.
At around 5:45 p.m. on Monday I parked on 2nd and Waller (I always park on the East Side during SXSW, which, unfortunately, isn't as successful a plan this year. Out of town hipsters don't irrationally fear minorities the way your run-of-the-mill Austin resident does) and started the long trek toward 3rd and San Jac. I was supposed to be there at 6:30, and my natural punctuality led me to be there at 6. So, I doubled back and prowled around the convention center for a while. I saw the Iron Throne and a bunch of movie posters and all of the people that were arriving for music week.
I headed back toward the venue at 6:20 and got a text from the Taco Bell promoter, Jon, who had arranged for 101x to be a part of this. He told me to head to the lobby and avoid the line that had already formed for the 9 o'clock show. I'm glad he did, because I was dreading the inevitable 20 minute ordeal with the door people.
I entered the lobby of the venue (which is normally a high-end set of condos that apparently nobody actually rents) and stood awkwardly waiting for someone to point me in the right direction. No one did (though one eager intern asked if I was there for some party that I wasn't there for). I eventually texted Jon and he turned out to be standing right beside me.
He asked if I was excited about the event and I replied that I was. He then asked if I knew what I was doing and I replied that I did not. So, he filled me in.
I (as 101x proxy), along with a handful of other "Twitter influencers" were going to be assigned PAs with cameras who would document the show from our perspective. Along with our cameras, there would be a professional film crew doing an actual good job. The whole show was going to be broadcast live and directed by the guy that did the Wilco movie (nothing gets South by types more excited than Wilco). In addition to the film work, our tweets would be whitelisted, which means that they would be promoted over the tweets of regular folks.
Jon introduced me to the people who helped run the show, Alex, a friendly guy who sort of looked like Dick from High Fidelity, and a woman whose name I can't recall. She claimed that I was her favorite for being the first to arrive, in a way that made me feel that I was decidedly not her favorite. I think being the first to arrive probably isn't cool in these circles.
Alex and the woman whose name I can't recall led me through a set of glass doors to a conference room with a table ringed with official looking folks. They introduced me to everyone and named all of the important people, whose names I never remembered. I was asked to select a PA, but, being me, I deferred to their preference.
They attached me to the person closest to me, Kristi, a Texas State grad who had been working as a PA for a filmmaker in Austin. Kristi was, possibly, the only person there less comfortable than me. She was nice and quiet and didn't give off the type-A vibe that literally every other person within 30 feet did.
The other influencers started trickling in. There was a guy from Hype Machine and a guy from TechCrunch. There was some girl that did something that I don't remember. The only other blogger that I talked to was Tyler Oakley. He has a popular YouTube channel and 450,000 Twitter followers.
As I watched him tweet, and then set up tweets for his account to send out in the future, I realized how far away I was from that world. I didn't understand how he could have the job that he has. It seemed so simple. I could put videos on YouTube - I just don't have the inclination.
After most of the bloggers had arrived (there was one straggler), we went on a brief venue tour and then upstairs to eat. Little did these folks know, if I am presented with free food, I will not stop eating until my access is revoked. So, I sat down and plowed Whole Foods mushroom lasagna for the better part of 45 minutes - long after everyone else had finished eating.
They sent us out to the show floor around 8. No one was there yet except the vendors and the camera crew and the band crew. Kristi and I wandered for a while. I tried to get a Miller Lite, but apparently I needed a drink ticket. So, I walked away thirsty.
When the doors finally opened, they turned our camera feeds on so that we could film the crowd coming in. I found a drink ticket on the ground. Everything was coming up Big Dawg.
As requested, I tried to tweet every 15 minutes or so. I assumed that I was supposed to tweet in the voice of 101x. Unfortunately, I don't know what that voice is, since I spent most of my internship doing stuff for another station, KGSR. (The voice of KGSR? Mike Love). As the night wore on, the voice of 101x became the voice of me.
I was requested to do an interstitial spot prior to the show, a task I avoided until being cornered by Alex. Reluctantly, I hit my mark and tried to think of some pleasant banalities to say about what was going on. Luckily, my experience as a high school sportswriter has made me an expert in pleasant banalities.
"Hey guys! It's Kyle from 101X here at the Hype Hotel sponsored by Hype Machine and Taco Bell! There's people, food and music! It's going to be a great time. You know, this is what Austin is all about. At 101X, we already know why this city is so special, and nights like tonight show the rest of the world why it's special. You can watch the show live from our point of view, just follow the link from our Twitter - @101X!"
I'm sure I looked like a maniac throughout this speech. I was taught never to look directly into the camera during an interview, but there was no one to focus my eyes on so they just bounced wildly across the room. I also immediately fell into the stupid, syncopated radio guy voice. An inauspicious beginning.
The opening band was Wildcat! Wildcat!, whom I'd never listened to. During their set, the crowd was mostly focused on getting drinks and eating free Doritos Locos tacos, so I was able to move about freely with the camera and try to get some cool shots. In the process of this, I moved in and out the VIP area beside the stage, which was guarded by Jo the doorman.
Jo the doorman looked like all doormen. He was stone-faced, a minority, and clearly did not give a shit about anything that was going on around him. I tried my best to befriend him.
As Wildcat! Wildcat! wrapped up their last song, I realized that the VIP area also housed a bar that did not require drink tickets. Feeling parched from my auteurish work with the Sony, I tried to mosey over that way.
Jo was not having it.
"No, you can't get in with those wristbands anymore."
Kristi was in the VIP section 10 feet from Jo.
"What do you mean? I was just in here. My camera girl is right over there."
Jo was resolute.
"You get your camera and you get out."
I got my camera and got out.
With nothing better to do between sets, I helped myself to some free tacos. I had yet to Live Mas since the Doritos Locos tacos had been introduced, so this was my first encounter with them. As far as I could tell, there was no discernible difference between the cool ranch version and the classic Doritos version. To me, they both just tasted like wildly salty versions of Taco Bell crunchy tacos.
(An aside: Taco Bell crunchy tacos are the first fast food that I remember really loving. When I was as young as 10, I could put down four in one sitting. Since then, the Bell has been supplanted by Popeye's and Wendy's in my fast food pantheon, but it still holds a special place in my heart).
Alex spotted me mowing down tacos and invited me back into the VIP area to do another talking head thing. I walked ahead of him and was once again rebuffed by Jo.
A word from Alex ensured my passage and I was certain that Jo now knew what the word was.
I did another manic interview and then Kristi and I tried to get in position for Passion Pit.
At this point, the room was packed and we had to post up in the back a bit and use the zoom on the camera to get any useable footage.
I looked around at what the other bloggers were doing. Most were in similar situations, marooned in a sea of people, poking out their cameras on monopods like periscopes. Tyler was in the front row simultaneously filming and also posting to Instagram, Tumblr and Vine. I again felt out of my element. I didn't even know Tumblr was still a thing!
One of the bloggers I hadn't seen since 8:30, when he used his camera to get a friend into the show and then promptly disappeared. I don't understand douchiness of that magnitude.
(An aside: I was just looking at Vine, and apparently I was standing right next to Rembert Browne, my favorite Grantland writer, but didn't realize it. Missed opportunity).
Kristi and I decided to move around a bit in an effort to get some #dynamiccamerawork. We prowled around the edge of the crowd as I worked up the courage to try to get past Jo and into the VIP area.
I fixed my gaze just beyond him and hoisted the camera with purpose. Jo didn't even speak, he just shook his head.
Demoralized, Kristi and I were stuck beside a large cement column that greatly hindered our view. We remained there for about 20 minutes until, out of nowhere, Jo motioned over to us.
"Come in."
So we did.
(Another aside: The crowd thinned out noticeably once "Take a Walk" had been played, which is the most South by thing ever. It's a shame too, because right after that they played Cry Like a Ghost, which is the best track on their new album).
Safely ensconced behind the three foot fence beside the stage, Kristi and I shot the entire encore from behind the musicians, facing out toward the crowd - I thought it looked pretty cool.
Once Passion Pit left the stage, I wandered back toward Jo and the bar. With the night over, I decided that I had earned a celebratory drink. Unfortunately, the only liquor was Tito's and the only mixers were soda. Who drinks vodka and soda other than 19 year olds? I tried to think of the most palatable one and came up with Sierra Mist. It was undrinkable.
In the midst of my drink order, I saw Tyler trying to break Jo's goat-like will. Tyler's bewildered gaze caught my eye and I wandered over to help. Unprompted, Jo turned to me and started explaining himself.
"Sorry man, the big boss man told me not to let in people with that wristband anymore. But, I know you have the camera and you're just trying to do your job."
I told Jo that I didn't mind and I understood that he was also doing his job.
During our conversation, Tyler darted through the entrance and slipped past Jo.
"I've always got people trying to do stuff like that," Jo said. "I don't care now, the show's over."
In that moment, I realized that I was more like Jo than I was my fellow influencers. When the show ended, so did show-biz Kyle. I didn't care about after-parties or talking to the artists. I wasn't interested in building my brand or my online presence. I just wanted to do the best job that I could while I was supposed to be doing it.
Later on, after I had turned in all of the camera equipment and was making my way out, I stopped by the stage again. There, guarding an even more VIP VIP area backstage, was Jo - impassively turning away gadflies. Standing as a silent guardian against the worst sort of South by people.
I got my camera and got out.
With nothing better to do between sets, I helped myself to some free tacos. I had yet to Live Mas since the Doritos Locos tacos had been introduced, so this was my first encounter with them. As far as I could tell, there was no discernible difference between the cool ranch version and the classic Doritos version. To me, they both just tasted like wildly salty versions of Taco Bell crunchy tacos.
(An aside: Taco Bell crunchy tacos are the first fast food that I remember really loving. When I was as young as 10, I could put down four in one sitting. Since then, the Bell has been supplanted by Popeye's and Wendy's in my fast food pantheon, but it still holds a special place in my heart).
Alex spotted me mowing down tacos and invited me back into the VIP area to do another talking head thing. I walked ahead of him and was once again rebuffed by Jo.
A word from Alex ensured my passage and I was certain that Jo now knew what the word was.
I did another manic interview and then Kristi and I tried to get in position for Passion Pit.
At this point, the room was packed and we had to post up in the back a bit and use the zoom on the camera to get any useable footage.
I looked around at what the other bloggers were doing. Most were in similar situations, marooned in a sea of people, poking out their cameras on monopods like periscopes. Tyler was in the front row simultaneously filming and also posting to Instagram, Tumblr and Vine. I again felt out of my element. I didn't even know Tumblr was still a thing!
One of the bloggers I hadn't seen since 8:30, when he used his camera to get a friend into the show and then promptly disappeared. I don't understand douchiness of that magnitude.
(An aside: I was just looking at Vine, and apparently I was standing right next to Rembert Browne, my favorite Grantland writer, but didn't realize it. Missed opportunity).
Kristi and I decided to move around a bit in an effort to get some #dynamiccamerawork. We prowled around the edge of the crowd as I worked up the courage to try to get past Jo and into the VIP area.
I fixed my gaze just beyond him and hoisted the camera with purpose. Jo didn't even speak, he just shook his head.
Demoralized, Kristi and I were stuck beside a large cement column that greatly hindered our view. We remained there for about 20 minutes until, out of nowhere, Jo motioned over to us.
"Come in."
So we did.
(Another aside: The crowd thinned out noticeably once "Take a Walk" had been played, which is the most South by thing ever. It's a shame too, because right after that they played Cry Like a Ghost, which is the best track on their new album).
Safely ensconced behind the three foot fence beside the stage, Kristi and I shot the entire encore from behind the musicians, facing out toward the crowd - I thought it looked pretty cool.
Once Passion Pit left the stage, I wandered back toward Jo and the bar. With the night over, I decided that I had earned a celebratory drink. Unfortunately, the only liquor was Tito's and the only mixers were soda. Who drinks vodka and soda other than 19 year olds? I tried to think of the most palatable one and came up with Sierra Mist. It was undrinkable.
In the midst of my drink order, I saw Tyler trying to break Jo's goat-like will. Tyler's bewildered gaze caught my eye and I wandered over to help. Unprompted, Jo turned to me and started explaining himself.
"Sorry man, the big boss man told me not to let in people with that wristband anymore. But, I know you have the camera and you're just trying to do your job."
I told Jo that I didn't mind and I understood that he was also doing his job.
During our conversation, Tyler darted through the entrance and slipped past Jo.
"I've always got people trying to do stuff like that," Jo said. "I don't care now, the show's over."
In that moment, I realized that I was more like Jo than I was my fellow influencers. When the show ended, so did show-biz Kyle. I didn't care about after-parties or talking to the artists. I wasn't interested in building my brand or my online presence. I just wanted to do the best job that I could while I was supposed to be doing it.
Later on, after I had turned in all of the camera equipment and was making my way out, I stopped by the stage again. There, guarding an even more VIP VIP area backstage, was Jo - impassively turning away gadflies. Standing as a silent guardian against the worst sort of South by people.
